Women’s Sex Noises Have Little To Do With Their Orgasms
A few thoughts here regarding another sex-survey. This one described the sounds women make during sex with men, and the “discovery” that young women who made sounds during sex and orgasm do not necessarily orgasm.
Their sounds were not proof of pleasure.
The women revealed that they manipulate their sex sounds to make their partner orgasm faster so they could end their encounters faster.
The average age of the women questioned was only 22.
A heterosexual male friend, who read the article asked me my thoughts on it. I pointed out that the subjects of the study were all young women, only 22-years of age. Since the survey excluded a fuller range of age and sexually experienced women, women more comfortable with themselves and their sexuality– the study did really not give a full picture.
I have little respect for these studies that all too often focus only on this very narrow age group of women in their 20’s. Seriously, do they really think women in their 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s do not have sex? How about surveying women with life experience. And yet, time and again I see these sexuality studies mainly based on this very limited demographic.
If the study had included women twice that age and older — and some women with more confidence, then it would have resulted in a very different conclusion I responded to him.
And he asked, Would that mean their sexual sounds would be louder?”
No, it does not mean their sex sounds would be louder. Louder is not proof of better.
Sexual sounds and the connection they have to pleasure and/or orgasm are not gauged by loudness.
Women who fake it can do so at a very high volume if they choose to. Whereas a confidant woman, a woman with some life experience, self-knowledge, and trust has little inhibition when it comes to being authentic and true to herself during her sexual encounters.
This kind of woman is a good communicator, truthful with her needs, interests, and fears too. And when it comes to her sex sounds, be they loud screams or quiet whimpers or purrs, she is comfortable being honest with herself and her partner.
This kind of woman allows for the natural expression of her pleasure sensation to flow without inhibition or pretend acting. There is no need for faking it. A confidant woman, comfortable in her sexuality, would not make fake sex sounds for performance sake only. She would not make sounds to manipulate her lover.
I whole heartedly agree that sounding during sex when natural can be liberating and enhance pleasure for both people. Sexual experiences without the pretending are true and pleasurable.
Sounds increase good feelings for many women. To enjoy sexual fulfillment some things need to be present at her core. Self-assurance, the ability to communicate truthfully and with compassion, having comfort and trust. All of those qualities enhance pleasure.
Feeling safe is a key to surrender.
When a woman trusts her partner enough to surrender, enough to express her likes and dislikes without fear of hostility or rejection — when she feels safe enough to let go completely and open herself to her lover and her own sensations, then her pleasure will be set free without inhibition or need for manipulation.
The expression of her sounds will spontaneously arise from a deep, true, and exhilarating place from within her core and that song of joy will be shared with her lover, naturally.
Being true to herself and not faking or molding herself to fit to another’s expectation then of course her truth sounds will be heard.
The authentic sounds of pleasure heard during love-making develop from intimacy and trust… Intimacy does not depend on loudness. Trust and communication can speak in tender whispers too.
Here is the link for the original survey article: